Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Lasagna Pizza

Someone from Pizza Hut has a secret. He (it could be a she, but for simplicity purposes we'll just say he) has the ability to fly to heaven and come back to earth. On one of these missions, he asked God himself if He would create the most heavenly pizza and allow him to share it with his fellow earthlings. And thus, my friends, is the Lasagna Pizza. OH. MY. GOSH. This stuff is deeelicious. You know that white, creamy filling in between layers of lasagna? There's a big dallop on top of the pizza, which happens to be a warm, doughy, deep dish with chunks of spicy sausage and fresh herbs. Just sayin....you should try it.

Jenny got us the pizza in exchange for a few hours of work at her new restaurant last night. That's pretty sad when you ask for food instead of money for compensation. Get control of yourself, Emily! Anyways, the health inspector is going there this morning, and if all goes welll, The Dog House could be open for business as early as tomorrow! Yea, Jenny! If anyone happens to be reading this, The Dog House is on S. Limestone in Lexington. Check it out.

Oh....how could I forget the most exciting part about Jenny getting open tomorrow? Jon, my husband, is going to dress up like a hot dog and pass out fliers around campus. This will most definitely be my proudest moment ever. (Just keep your fingers crossed that he doesn't make it in the paper.)

On another note, my lovely little voice can be heard on the radio sometime soon. I'll let you know when later. I will be reading an announcement for the Carnegie Learning Center through my work. I typically am a really good reader, but I'm sure somehow I'll manage to totally screw up my big chance and never be asked to do PR work again!

Oh...that reminds me of a story. I know I'm rambling, but just hang on. This is pretty funny. Jon and I had asked my brother-in-law, Chris, to do a reading for our wedding because my sister said, "Oh, he's great at stuff like that...so articulate, and he doesn't get nervous." My ass. First of all, we had picked a verse from Colossians for him to read, but somehow, he thought I had said Jeremiah. Do those two words sound alike? I didn't think so either. So, up until the day of the wedding, he had been practicing a verse in Jeremiah. You do realize that is the Old Testament....the verse probably went something like, "And God brought down his wrath on the people of the old land...." Probably not the best choice for a wedding.

Anyways, he figured out the right verse just in time. He calmly and confidently walked up to the podium and began to read from the Good Book. After reading a couple of lines, he looked up to the guests for dramatic effect, and when he looked back down, silence. More silence. I could see the panic arise on his face. His finger started racing around the page looking for the line he had left off on. He finally finds the general area, re-reads the line he had just read, and finishes off with a bit of stuttering and a horrified look on his face. Oh...Chris. Thanks for the entertainment. As the bride, I felt it was not appropriate to snort out a big laugh, but let me tell you, it was hard to hold back.

Posted by Emily at 7:30 AM

(1) comments

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Randomness

I really don't have anything to blog about so we'll see where this goes. First of all, you know what's ironic? I watched the 2 hour Biggest Loser premeire last night. So..I sat on my ass for 2 hours watching other people lose weight. I felt so guilty about it that I did 40 sit-ups when it was over. I really love Bob, the trainer on there. He really motivates, but understands when you have mental breakdowns too. I wish I had Bob waking me up every morning and making me go jogging and eat oatmeal for breakfast. Then when it was over, he would listen to all my problems. Bob is great.

So, here I am at the bank. We haven't gotten robbed yet this week, so that's good. You may think I'm exagerating when I say that I really don't do anything here. But, really...out of 8 1/2 hours, I may do actual work for 1 hour. My day mostly consists of reading books, playing on myspace, writing blogs, and talking on the phone. This is all good, except for one thing. I'm gonna get office ass if I'm not careful. If you're not aware, office ass is when your ass sits in a chair all day and slowly, over time, flattens and expands. Maybe I should get "Buns of Steel" to try and prevent this.

I did have to go to this training the other day about the "Patriot Act." No, I had no idea what that was, and no, even after the training I still have no idea what it is. We played Jeopardy to review what we had "read" in the packet. The quotations mean that I didn't so much read it, as I may have skimmed over like the first paragraph. Basically, I felt like everyone around me was speaking Greek.

That reminds me of a time in college in South Carolina. Back in my free loving hippy days, I was known to do a little "toking." One time I made the mistake of partaking right before Spanish class. I was just staring at the professor the whole time thinking "why on earth is she speaking Japanese when this is supposed to be Spanish class?" Oh....Emily.

Anywho, plans for the weekend. Well, I'm gonna have to guess there might be some beer involved. I think we may go to Oktoberfest on Friday, which, if you don't know is the most fun ever had in a Catholic church parking lot. Gambling, beer, music, adn German food for your pleasure. Saturday we're going to Emilee's wedding, and that's about all I got for now. If you're really lucky, you'll may even get an afternoon post because I really have nothing to do today since I finished my book.

Posted by Emily at 6:19 AM

(1) comments

Monday, September 11, 2006

Apple Pie in a Cup

What kind of freakin genius came up with this? So, the big opening tailgating event was this Saturday. In case you didn't know, tailgating spells F-U-N. If you don't believe me, just ask Whitney who had her doubts until she was thrown into the Happy Camp tailgating experience. You'll never be the same.

Back to the apple pie. One day some smart young chap was sitting around thinking I just love apple pie, but there are 2 problems with it. #1 - You have to use energy to chew it. #2 - In no way can it get you drunk. Hence, the birth of the apple pie shot. Yes, my friends. It is a delicacy in the tailgating world where the forms of getting drunk usually involve Natty Ice and a funnel. Below, are the directions so that you, too, may experience the deliciousness that is the apple pie shot:

-bunch of apple juice
-bunch of apple cider
-bunch of cinnamon
-hella pure grain
*Pour all ingredients in a big jug (like the kind apple cider comes in), shake it up, and refrigerate (I assume overnight would be best)

OK....on with the tailgating experience. Me, Jon, Whit, Jenny, and the happy campers had a lot to drink, a little to eat (who doesn't bring any condiments when serving hamburgers and hotdogs???), and a whole lotta fun. If I had told you that I was stuck in a port-a-potty for 45 minutes, you might not think "fun." But it was. We were stuck because of Monsoon Marilyn (I don't know if monsoons really have names, but they should). We then returned to our tailgating site, which interestingly enough, was being swept away by the flood. Still, you may say that does not sound fun. But it was. We jumped on the coffee table, swam in the lake created by the flood, and just kept on truckin.

I need to interrupt my tailgaiting blog to tell you'll how very relieved I am. I had saved this blog as a draft when I went to eat lunch. I came back to open it and my computer said I couldn't get on blogger because there's something wrong with my cookies!!! Take your cookies and shove them up your ass!! Has someone found out that this is what I do all day and forbidden me access? Has my play on the internet all day and get paid plan been foiled?? I thought I may never get on at work again....and then what in the hell would I do here at my desk all day? So, I logged off, tried again, and thank heavens, it worked. I know you'll are just as relieved as I am. On with the blog!

Anywho, we ended up getting soaking wet at the game, ruining any hopes of a diet with Taco Bell (damn you, Taco make my ass fat Hell!), and having a grand ol time in general. Here are some pictures to prove it to you.

Posted by Emily at 8:32 AM

(0) comments

Friday, September 08, 2006

Lamo

Ok, well, I'm too lame to think of anything interesting to write about today, so I'll just complete a questionaire of sorts for your reading entertainnet. Really, somebody keeps pressuring me about posting and I'm sick of their whining. So here ya go!

Oh....one interesting thing did happen today. A customer came in and wanted to speak with Wanda, a lady I work with. I asked him his name and he said, "Butch." I picked up the phone and said, "Wanda, bitch, butch is here to see you." No joke. I'm a moron.

1.) What curse word do you use the most?
Dammit!

2.) Do you own an iPod?
What's that?

3.) Who on your Myspace do you talk to the most:
Whitney. She is quite the dedicated myspacer.

4.) What time is your alarm clock set for?
7:25 a.m.

5.) What are you favourite colours?
purple (what's up with favourite...are we in freakin England?)

6.) Flip flops or sneakers?
flip flops (and again...what's up with sneakers...now my location displacement machine has taken me to Boston apparently)

7.) Would you rather take the picture or be in the picture?
Take the picture, unless I'm looking pretty sexy

8.) What was the last movie you watched?
Jon and I watched Goodfellas last night. I've never seen it before and I usually hate gangster movies, but that was ahhhhsome.

9.) Do any of your friends have children?
Yes. We're so old.

10.) Has anyone ever called you lazy?
I'm afraid so. Like a lot of times.

11.) Do you ever take medication to help you fall asleep faster?
Every once in a while I will take a tylenol pm. Either it totally knocks me out, or I get absolutely zero sleep so it's risky to take.

12.) What CD is currently in your CD player?
Don't know, but I'm sure it's something Jon put in there cause he's a music hog in the car.

13.) Do you prefer regular or chocolate milk?
Regular.

14.) Has anyone told you a secret this week?
Yep. And boy is it juicy.

15.) How many pairs of shoes do you own?
I can't tell or my husband will make me give them away.

16.) Who was the last person to call you?
My dad

17.) Do you think people talk about you behind your back?
I'm sure, but I don't care

18.) Did you watch cartoons as a child?
Only a select few, including Animaniacs and Doug

20.) Are you shy around the opposite sex?
No.

21.) What movie do you know every line to?
Maybe Dumb and Dumber

23.) What is your favorite salad dressiing?
Balsamic Vinegarette

24.) Do you read for fun?
I'm in the middle of a mystery book right now

25.) Do you cry alot?
No. But if there are onions around I will be toe up. Oh...and Extreme Home Makeover always makes me cry.

26.) When was the last time you cried?
The other day when Jenny and I watched a special on wives of firefighters in 9/11.

27.) Do you have a desktop computer or a laptop?
laptop

28.) Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoo?
One voluntary excruciatingly painful experience is enough for a lifetime.

29.) What is the weather like?
The sun is finally coming out, but it has been dreary and rainy all day.

30.) Would you ever date someone covered in tattoos?
No.

32.) When was the last time you slept on the floor?
Probably camping back in highschool. I bring an air mattress if I go now.

33.) How many hours of sleep do you need to function?
At least 7, but more like 10 is preferable.

35.) Are your days full and fast-paced?
They used to be when I was trying to tame 23 tyrants. Now my days are full of, well, this.

36.) Do you pay attention to calories on the back of packages?
Yes, damn you calories.

37.) What does your last text message say?
I don't do text messaging.

39.) Have you ever been to Six Flags?
Yes, I strapped into the seat, got it buckled, and immediately unbuckled myself and walked off. I know. That's ridiculous.

40.) Do you get along better with the same or opposite sex?
Both. I'm definitely not one of those girls. You know, the kind that has to have all the male attention, and it bitchy to all the girls.

41.) Do you like Cottage Cheese?
Mmmm....delicious!

42.) Do you sleep on your side, tummy, or back?
back

43.) Have you ever bid for something on eBay?
I don't trust e-bay.

44.) Do you enjoy giving hugs?
If it's not a burly, sweaty stranger with bad breath, then yes.

45.) What song did you last sing out loud?
Ummm....no idea.

46) What is your favorite TV show?
What kind of question is that? How could I possibly narrow down all the delightful television entertainment. Some favorites are Seinfeld, King of Queens, Survivor, Desperate Housewives...

47) Which celebrity dead or alive would you want to have lunch with?
Oprah

48) Last time you had butterflies in your stomach?
My wedding

49) Whats one thing you wish you had?
I could say something really humanitarian or sentimental, but let be honest, I would really like some mula right now.

Posted by Emily at 1:40 PM

(1) comments

He Came At Me With A Cold Stare and a 32 Calibur!

That's what I'm gonna tell the news team if they ask me for another interview anyways. So, here's what really happened. I'm sitting at my cozy little desk at the bank (probably looking around on myspace or something) when Stacy (the branch manager) runs up the stairs, locks the front door, and yells into the CEO's office that we've been robbed again. That's basically where the action stops for me. Everyone downstairs (where the tellers are) get to talk to the cops, give descriptions, and enjoy pizza for their "traumatic day."

Meanwhile, I'm stuck upstairs not knowing what's going on and most importantly, not being able to give my "eyewitness account" to the reporters. Actually, nobody was allowed to talk to the reporters. One guy from channel 18 came in and asked me if anyone would be willing to do an interview. I so wanted to be like "me! me!" The following is how the interview would have gone had I been allowed to participate:

Reporter: Mrs. Prickett, tell us what you saw.

Mrs. P: Well, I was dilligently working away to ensure the continued success of this fine establishment when I noticed a suspicious looking fellow walk in the door.

Rep: How was he suspicious?

Mrs. P: He was wearing sunglasses and I could tell by the way he was twitching that he was aching for some sort of drugs. My keen sense was telling me crack cocaine.

Rep: What does that have to do with the robbery? Get to the point, Mrs. P.

Mrs. P: Obviously, he needed money to support his addiction, and who has more money than a bank? As he approached the counter, I could just see his intentions through his cold, dark eyes.

Rep: Brilliant, Mrs. Prickett, just brilliant. Then what happened?

Mrs. P: Well, he fiddled in his pocket for a minute. Next thing I knew, he jerked a gun out and pointed it right between my eyes. He yelled "give me all your cash, little lady!" From reading my bank procedures handbook I knew I should just do as the robber said. As I was loading the cash into a big bag, he was swinging the gun around yelling, "faster, faster!" I threw him the bag, and he darted out the door.

Rep: Is that where the story ends?

Mrs. P: Almost. I immediately hurdled my body over the counter and took off after him. I knew that I could catch him since I've been training for a marathon coming up in the fall. Unfortunately, my fellow employees blockaded the door, and wouldn't let me go. They were all just yelling, "No, Emily, it's too dangerous! You don't always have to be the hero!"

Rep: Wow, Mrs. Prickett. You really did the right thing. Were you scared?

Mrs. P: Well, I'm probably not going to sleep too soundly tonight if that tells you anything.

So.....how did I do? So what if the story is a bit embellished? The truth is, it was a silent robbery. The guy just slid a note across the counter, got his money, and left. But my story would have been much more interesting for channel 18. It definitely would have made the top story!

Posted by Emily at 11:28 AM

(1) comments

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Reality Television Is Devilishly Delicious

Believe it or not people, I am a bloggin. Ok, so there probably are no "people" since I haven't done this in so long. I've lost all my fans. So I'll just talk to myself. Well, a whole lot has changed since my last blog. You will read about these changes in later blogs I will post when I find my freakin USB cord so I can post the pictures that go along with them. That could very well be a run on sentence. I don't care so stop judging me, damnit! Future blogs will include - the wedding shower, the bachelorette party, the wedding, the honeymoon....noticing a theme here? Anways, I really am going to be better at blogging now. Wanna know why? Cause I got a desk job. My supervisor actually told me if it gets slow I should read a book or play on the internet. Woohoo....that's my kind of job.

So...that's what I'm doing right now. Getting paid for writing a blog. This is the life. Except my ass hurts from sitting all day. I know I'm stalling. You're thinking so what is this post really about? Well, here it is. It's about my ridiculous obsession with reality television. I am going to list the 5 greatest reality television moments in order from pretty cool to ahhhhhhsome!

5. Paula on the Real World claiming she and her battering ex boyfriend were all good....and then getting arrested for biting him 5 times.

4. Christopher Knight's dad telling Adrien she needs to tone down the "bitch, bitch, bitch" on My Fair Brady at their engagement dinner.

3. Mini Me (Vern) getting drunk and peeing in the corner on Surreal Life.

2. Big scary girl asking little white girl if she wanted to borrow her "lip chap" after beating the hell out of her on Flavor of Love.

1. And the greatest and grossest moment of reality television thus far....
ol girl shitting on the floor of Flavor Flaaaaaaav's house in Flavor of Love. And I quote "It could have happened to anybody!"

Now, I know I have left some other great moments out, so if you'd like to share anymore, just send me a comment and I will put it in my next post which will be very soon guaranteed!

Posted by Emily at 10:34 AM

(1) comments

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Baby, I'm Back
Well, I have completely and totally neglected my blog. I have no excuse except that I'm damn lazy. Well, where do I begin with what's been going on with my life? First of all, the all consuming wedding has been going on. Most of my spare time has been spent doing invitations, dress fittings, ordering rings, meeting with the band/dj, sorting out details at the marriott, planning the honeymoon, having showers...need I go on? It is really fun planning a wedding, but seeing as though I'm not a natural planner, it can be a pain in the ass at times! If it wasn't for my mom reminding me of stuff all the time, I would probably show up at the wedding with a dress that doesn't fit and a flower girl with no flowers. Good ol' mom.

Anyways, I have been spending a lot of my summer slinging weiners at the infamous hot dog stand. And, no, it's not actually a stand. It's a little shop downtown. Some friends of mine own it, so it's cool. It's pretty fun and an easy way to make a little extra chedda (thanks to Whitney I know what that word means) for the summer.

This weekend is my bachelorette party, so I'm quite excited about that. Whitney's planning it, and we're going to Cincinnati (I can never remember how to spell that damn city!) We're gonna go out on the town and stay at her bro's house. Oh yea...but before that is the bridal luncheon.....da, da, daaaaa. The reason I say da, da, daaaa is because I'm excited/dreading it. Why, you ask? Because it's a lingerie shower as well! As in....in front of my mom, grandma, Jon's grandma, blah, blah, blah. If any of you girls make me open pasties in front of my grandmother, I will make your life hell!!! Don't even think about it.

Anyways, the wedding is 1 month from tomorrow!! I can't freakin believe it, but it's true. I'm quite nervous about the actual ceremony, but excited for the reception and can't wait for the honeymoon!!!! Anyways, I promise to be more faithful to my little blog, and will post some pictures next time from the shower I had, the coming up shower, bachelorette party, etc. Peace homies.

Posted by Emily at 3:41 PM

(1) comments

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Jealous of....me?

Is it possible to be jealous of myself? I'm trying ot pick out pictures for the video montage at the wedding, and I think I'm getting jealous of myself. The skinnier me, that is. Not to mention...how was my hair so shiny and frizzless when I was little? I have posted them so you can be jealous too.

On another note, is there anyone out there...out in this cyber space world actually reading this (besides my most faithful followers, Whit and Colleen)? They are the only ones who ever leave me comments. Just send me a hollaaaa if you are somebody else and you are reading this.

Here's a random thought. Why is it so hard for us humans to simply sit and ponder the world around us or our lives without getting a panic stricken feeling? I was locked out of my house today for about a half an hour. I really was like "what the hell am I going to do with myself? I can't possibly just sit here!" So, I tried to go to Seth and Ali's. But those good for nothing hillbillies are never there when I need them. I have no idea why I just called them hillbillies...they're not. I think it's the trauma of having nothing to do for 30 minutes gettting to me!!!

Now time for the reality television thought of the day. I was very excited that Taylor won on American Idol, but is it just me...or was it kind of anti-climactic? Where was the confetti, the fireworks, the jumping up and down? Also, what am I going to do with myself now? All the good reality tv is done or about to be done! Oh, I know what I should....get my butt in shape!!


Posted by Emily at 2:01 PM

(1) comments